When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you say? How do you feel?
Whether you are male or female, I truly hope you see extraordinary, exquisite beauty. I hope you whisper sweet words of love and compassion and adoration to yourself. For every single cell and atom of your being. I hope you smile and wrap yourself with warmth and swell up with pride for all that you have overcome. For being the miracle that you are.
This is a regular practice I have consciously incorporated into my life. Because for most of my life, I’ve struggled so much with looking in the mirror. I buried myself with so much criticism and negative self-talk. I never ultimately felt good enough. And I know so many of us face this challenge.
The irony is that after getting into the best shape I’d ever been in, after being ‘discovered’ and having the opportunity to model for fitness ads and take some really amazing photos… my struggle with looking in the mirror actually got way worse.
The fact is I just wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared for it. Yes, at the time I was dealing with a lot of upheaval in my personal life. But the real problem was that I didn’t love myself through and through, with or without some kick-ass photos. This very new, super lean, fit version of myself – that consumed probably only a total of a few hundred calories and maybe one glass of water in the 24-36 hours prior to a photo shoot – had now been captured in these photos. And it was a new standard in my appearance that I found impossible to maintain.
So it got to the point where I was bouncing between extreme binge eating to fill an emotional void and intense fasting and exercise bulimia to get ready for more photo shoots. A very vicious, hellish cycle. I felt very, very alone and ashamed and desperate.
Fast forward to now and thankfully I’m in a very different place. But I felt the need to share this and bring some perspective to what you see in ads and on social media, particularly at this time of year, as new year’s resolutions and the hype of promises for many people are losing their lustre. And motivation and morale are taking a hit.
The fact is, photos simply capture a moment in time. A moment that reflects the peak of one’s body after not just weeks or perhaps months or years of working out and ‘eating clean’ but also potentially some formula of fasting and water cutting and tanning and makeup and muscle pumping that happens right up until that very pinnacle moment on set or on stage. Not to mention the magic of Photoshop.
Those amazing abs you see in those ads? YES, it is possible to achieve them. I truly believe anything is possible with positive intention and sustained, focused effort over enough time. BUT very, very, very (yes I said it 3x) few people actually walk around with a six pack all the time. Usually these are professionals who have chosen to dedicate their entire life and lifestyle to activities that support the maintenance of this type of physique.
So while being ‘ripped’ or ‘shredded’ may contribute to confidence and indicate vitality, it certainly does not equate happiness or self-worth. And it certainly does not replace self-love. I can definitely attest to that.
You are eternally magnificent and beautiful as you are and I wish to reflect that to you. And I wish you true, deep Love always.
Namaste, with all my heart.
JK